3 November 2023 My definition of coaching: 50 words
Coaching the difficult definition and the invisible benefit
The difficult definition of coaching
Often, when I talk about my profession as a coach, I am asked to give a definition of coaching, in order to understand and deepen the true essence of this activity.
The difficulty in providing a comprehensive and meaningful definition of coaching at the beginning of a course is related to the fact that it does not refer to something generic but toa specific personal experience, closely related to the uniqueness of the human being and the relationship established in the course of the activity itself.
In the beginning, without a personal experience, there is a lack of terms of comparison and therefore, the advice is always to experiment first.
Coaching is expressed with different shades of meaning: it is an activity of relationship from which derives development without tutors or teachers instructing, which brings wellness but does not offer treatment for discomfort, which supportsinitiation but does not advise, that facilitates self-determination but does not impose predetermined solutions.
Thus, as the conversation about a definition of coaching proceeds, each person ends up finding the specific and meaningful definition of coaching ,the one that comes closest to one's own experience.
People are made in a thousand ways and express themselves in a thousand different nuances: the same thing happens with coaching, because it refers to the diversity of people and the countless multiplicities of experimentation and expression.
My definition of coaching
The words I like to recall to express my definition of coaching are: "connection", "knowledge", "change", "growth" and the deeper meaning of these words can truly be grasped during a courageous, patient, tenacious personal journey with a commitment to experimentation.
Coaching: where is the benefit?
I invite you to temporarily call to your mind a difficulty or frustration...
... and now I ask you:
"how you could work actively to the solution and what might help you to take a step forward from the current (frustrating) situation?".
Coaching succeeds in bringing benefits when one overcomes the initial resistance that holds one back from getting involved.
Coaching progressively leads to a invisible benefit, which cannot be seen with the eyes at first, but is perceived and verifiable in the personal state , as the experience progresses.
By obtain the invisible benefit is necessary to be available to admit your own vulnerability, bysharing something personal, from which to start in order to receive back a value, which at first is invisible and that only along the way will you learn to recognise and evaluate, the very moment in which you achieve what you desire.
It is possible to obtain the invisible benefit bringing attention and focus to the present momentthe only one in which it is possible to change things.
While the past is over and no longer returns, the present is the starting point for what can still happen in the future, for what can still be influenced by our actions.
It is possible to obtain the invisible benefit giving personal meaning to recurring words that refer to authentic and personal experiences.
50 words of coaching
Of the 50 words reported in the cloud, "which ones are most significant for you?"; "what words would you like to experience?“.
“What other words would you like to add that you do not see included?“
How you get your invisible benefit
In addition to ask the questions to get the answers you needI look at you, I listen to you, I act as a mirror, returning your words and expressions, from which you go on releasing thoughts and associations of ideas that you did not see before. In this way, you learn and it becomes easier for you to decide what to do next.
Step by step something changes.
It's like putting the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together: at first, all the pieces are scattered and in disarray, but as soon as you put the pieces one after the other with a shared strategy (coaching programme), the images come together, taking on meaning, until reaching the complete end result.
One of my clients told me one day at the end of a meeting: '... Sorry if I confused you, I have now clarified myself'..
The benefit (that was) invisible has been achieved.....
What is your next step to get the answers you need?
Do you want to obtain your invisible benefit?
For another suggestion see also
The meaning of Coaching in the metaphor of the journey
On other coaching conversations watch the video
https://ideas.ted.com/how-do-good-leaders-give-advice-the-short-answer-they-dont/